Monday, December 24, 2007

The Most Important Marriage Tips Of All Marriage Tips

Recently my father-in-law spoke at a wedding I attended. After 50 years of wedded bliss he offered the couple simple marriage tips. He told them simply that one of the most important the rich tips they will ever get in life is not to be afraid to say, "I'm sorry". He claims that this one marriage and tip can bring you many happy years as a married couple.
These simple, short words can work wonders when it comes to an intimate relationship. Only moments before these words slip from your lips you may have been in hot water. Now that you have apologized the mood in the room is changed to a lighter, happier and more loving feeling to move forward with. Facial muscles are relaxed and your spouse will forgive you.

You might think this sounds easy but there is a lot of difference in how men and women view these two words. Women find apologizing easier than most men. Men find it hard to say and don't always see how important it is.

Often this causes problems. While men may think that women wanting to hear these words are needy and dependent this is often not the case. Women often tend to feel that if a man doesn't say these words then he doesn't mean them, which is also usually not the case. Being able to look at both sides of the issue and seeing where your partner was coming from is one of the most important ways to prevent problems from happening in marriages. Occasionally men need to swallow their pride and say with their woman needs to hear and on the other side of the token women need to occasionally realize that just because their man doesn't say how he feels does not mean that doesn't have feelings.

As it is a most tips, this tip does no good to merely understand. It is important to put this marriage tip into practice.

As it is a most tips, this marriage to does no good to merely understand. It is important to also put this marriage tip into practice.

If you mess up, take full responsibility. Don't make your spouse a party to what happened. If you say, "sorry I spilt wine on the rug but don't fill my glass so full next time", this is a half-hearted apology along with a dig at your partner. "I'm sorry I spilt wine on the rug" is a better apology and should get immediate forgiveness (we all have little accidents!)

Apologize for how you made the other person feel as well as apologizing for what happened. "I'm sorry I came home so late. I know you must have been worried", is a better way of saying sorry than, "I'm sorry I came home so late," which makes it sound like you are only saying sorry because you are expected to.

Be specific when making an apology. "Sorry for all the times I upset you," is too generalized and sounds like a politician trying to cover everything. This is also called a "non-apology apology". If there is something you want to apologize for, name it.

Timing means everything. His small mistake deserves an immediate apology. Larger mistakes that are going to take a little bit more time, thought and energy, these apologies need to be well thought out and shouldn't be spur of the moment. Once you've given some thought, then it's time for you to approach your partner with a sincere apology this should be done when you've got a 100% of your partner's attention.

Explanations do not require you to hand out to blame. Marriage tips can be helpful but you should not expect them to work miracles. It is up to you and your spouse to work through your problems. You shouldn't expect your spouse to instantaneously accept your apology either. Forgiveness may take awhile and in the meantime that you self and your partner shoes. Do not pass the blame to partner. An explanation does not require that someone is to blame.

Marriage tips are helpful but seldom work miracles. You cannot expect your spouse to accept every apology immediately. If you have upset them a great deal, forgiveness takes time. State how sorry you are about what you did and wait for it to work. You will both be glad of the results.



About the Author
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